I think the worst part about having a passion for travel is jealousy. I’ve padded my twitter, facebook, bloglines – every social networking site at my disposal – with jet-setting travellers who are taking on the world. Even those I add for other reasons seem to mock me with thei lavish travels to far away places. The other day I was sitting in class listening to my professor ramble on about cod fish (seriously…fucking cod fish) and I, of course, was wasting time on twitter. Eli Roth is updating about being in Italy. I’m learning about cod and all these people are experiencing the world! I’m full of envy, full of it.

Sometimes life does laugh at you. Not with you. Just at you.

In other news, I updated my list a bit. I saw Marilyn Manson live, which was just terrible, but I did it. It would be been better categorized under “Thanks, But No Thanks” in hindsight. I have to decide what to do next on my list.

Yeah, I’m not going to Seattle. The infamous “Destination Unknown” trip has been cancelled, due to Adam moving back to Lethbridge and me just not having enough energy to get up to pee, let alone drive for that long. I wasn’t even excited to be going. What is wrong with me? I’m going to NYC in three weeks with Adam and I don’t think I’m excited for that either. I’m sick of these temporary flings with travel and awesome places.

I need to move. Somewhere awesome. I wonder how rent prices are in Narnia. That place seems happening.

For fun, here is a picture:

Everett Park in Kingston.

This summer feels like a complete wash. I did go to Kelowna, true, but it has mostly been spent with my nose in books and sitting in classrooms. I guess I’m putting this work in now so I can be done school earlier, but I just want to be travelling and seeing the world. One friend just finished a study in Ghana and is now touring Germany. Irma my artist friend just finished a one month stint in Montreal. Everyone is headed somewhere or just returning and I feel stagnant.

I suppose I am heading to Kingston in around a month, but I have been to Kingston several times. Hell, I lived there for almost ten years. I am desparately trying to convince my mom to go somewhere (anywhere!!) with me over a weekend or after our trip to Kingston but she is very reluctant (much to my dismay). I know I only have 60 or summers left on this planet and it depresses me to some extent this one has been somewhat wasted so far. 6 weeks left before September brings around a new semester of school, I better make the most of it. Roadtrip anyone?

After all this hubadoo (yes I made that word up) about Iceland, I might not be going. It turns out even in a recession Iceland is insanely expensive when compared to other countries. Who does Iceland think it is exactly? Flights might be cheap, but not really that much cheaper than most other countries. Then you get there and you basically have to give them your arm in order to pay for stuff. YOUR ARM.

Adam was, in my mind, pooing all over my dream of going to Iceland about a week ago and it made me sad. But then he said the magic words to win my heart: “Rio de Janeiro” and “cheaper”. We began to discuss other options and Adam said the third magic word to win my heart: “spreadsheets.” As of right now we are entertaining a bunch of options, including Aruba, Athens, Rome, Madrid, Barcelona, Mumbai, Tokyo, and Rio. All of these places are CHEAPER than Iceland. Fantastic!

It is rather nice not knowing where I will be going in August, just knowing that it will be somewhere foreign and fun.

So Adam and I have been slowly going over the details of our trip to Iceland, but not too much since
1. I don’t know when I can actually go
2. We don’t know if my friend-ette Irma is coming

Now, I am a fan of doing things that make little to no sense. It makes life more interesting. Hence, I desparately want to drive the ring road around Iceland despite it being one way bridges and dirt roads. True there is a bus that goes around it (thanks to one of my lovely commenters) but Adam is not one to take buses. We want to rent a car. Problem is, a car rental even for a few days gets up into the thousands of dollars range in Iceland. Seriously. Why? Iceland, according to Wikipedia, has one of the highest car ownership rates per capita in the entire world. You think some nice Icelandic person with 4 cars would just let us have one on good faith and maybe a nice bottle of maple syrup.

Planning this trip is slightly more difficult than I had originally thought, but I am just going to assume this will make it more fun in the end. Though, to be honest, I can’t stop thinking about that movie about the vampires in the Arctic. Iceland would make a way better vampire destination because it is a tiny isolated island. On the bright side, it would be safe from zombies in the even of a living dead outbreak (at least for a while – zombies can swim/float).

And this is what I think about while planning a trip.

The weather has decided to get back to be snowy and cold, which is just what it does in April when you live in Calgary, Alberta. I’ve literally spent the entire day I should have been studying staring out the window thinking about Iceland, because you know…snow…outside…Ice…land. Yeah. August I will be heading the Iceland way, I’ve been perusing flights and hostels but until my mom and I make definite plans to see my grandparents in Toronto I can’t do too much (I should probably also get a job to pay for it, since Visa does not currently accept sexual favours, but you know…less important…)

Iceland makes an appearance several times on my list, testament to my desire to go and enjoy everything the country has to enjoy. It is literally at the moment my number one destination, with Morocco falling into second place. Yeah I know, snowy and cold to hot deserts, my brain doesn’t follow rhyme or reason. Only four months and I’ll be hanging out in Reykjavik! Here is what is on my list…

#317. Go to the Icelandic Phallological Museum
#356. See the Northern Lights in Iceland
#377. Travel to all of the European countries (it totally counts!)

I thought I had more on there! And now I’m wondering if I could even see the Northern Lights in August…Anywho! I’ve been looking at Iceland’s tourism websites and trying to work out some sort of rough plan. I’m also trying to find someone willing to go with me since Adam will be both working and broke and my mom has this weird vendetta against doing anything fun. I guess if it comes down to it I will go on my own, which is scary, but something I know I can do. Any good ideas of things to do in Iceland, particularly in Reykjavik?

After a sleepless 12 hour over night Greyhound stint, stuck sitting next to the bathroom, Manhattan can seem a little daunting the first time you see it from a distance. And from there, it only gets worse. You climb off the bus into the August heat, trying to find the right Subway entrance. You have you map, your hostel reservation and the driving need to experience everything “New York”.

Whatever your actual itinerary looks like, bus or plane, hostel or hotel, weekend or several weeks, New York can be a little overwhelming on your first visit. Here are a few tips to maximizing your first trip in NYC and keeping your wits about you. I’ve kept frugality in mind since I was just about broke when I got to New York.

1. You won’t learn to navigate Manhattan if you stay hidden inside your room. When I was in New York I stayed in a run down hostel, in a room with a tiny window and no fan. In the middle of August. It was horrible to be in and smelled like curry and peanut butter. I found a cockroach in the bathroom. It was perfect. I never wanted to be there for any reason which motivated me to spend all of my time wandering around and taking in the sights. Taking a break in the room was never an option. Even the Subway was preferable since it had air-conditioning. While you don’t necessarily need to book the worst rated hostel you can find, but consider the fact you’re not in the city to enjoy a nice room. NYC is big and scary but hiding in your room won’t help you learn the city.

2. Get the New York City Pass if you’re planning to go to most of the major tourist attractions. If you end up going to even half of them you’ll have saved yourself quite a bit of cash. A lot of the bigger sites also have special fast-tracked line ups for people who have their tickets already which is a huge time saver (especially at the Empire State Building).

3. Spend your evenings in Central Park. Assuming you’re in NYC in the summer, Central Park offers the perfect place to relax and cool your heels after a long day of roaming the city. It’s a great place to people watch and grab a late night pretzel or slice from the surrounding shops for a picnic dinner. If you’re especially into getting a romantic New York experience, make sure to catch the lightning bugs coming out as soon as dusk hits. Central Park is like the eye of a hurricane, a little rectangle of calm in the middle of a hectic city. If it’s good enough for the hardened New Yorkers to use, it’s good enough for even the most frazzled tourist.

4. The Staten Island Ferry gets your reasonably close to the Statue of Liberty. I had a discount ticket for an actual Statue tour, but it was almost four hours long. I just wanted to see the statue, not learn everything about it and be stuck on the island for four hours wasting time with a bunch of people wearing fanny packs. After asking a nice agent at the ferry terminal (who made my friend and I imitate Terrance and Philip from South Park, because we’re Canadian) let us in on the fact you can easily see the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry and, best of all, it’s FREE!

5. At least make yourself a rough plan before you go. I’m not a fan of the over-planning but if when I went to NYC I only had three days and I had quite a few places I wanted to hit up. The night before we left my travel partner and I sketched out a rough map of the city and placed all the places we wanted to go onto it. Using a highly technical “circling” system, we grouped the destinations into three days. Manhattan offers a lot and if you don’t employ some sort of planning you’ll end up spending a lot of time running around and catching the Subway and trying to get all over the place. Try and roughly group where you want to go according to where the are located so you can do them all in one shot rather than going back and forth.

6. Give yourself at least an afternoon just to wander around aimlessly. Try to do this as soon as possible in your trip to give yourself some pace of the city without over-thinking where your are trying to get to. Let yourself fall into the pace of the city, learn some of the landmarks, how to navigate if you have a map, and just wander. It won’t be a total waste of time either. Guaranteed you’ll see some attraction or building you forgot to put on your itinerary. If I hadn’t spent some time aimlessly wandering the the streets I would have missed the Central Library, Grand Central Station, Wall Street and the Flat Iron Building altogether.

7. Pick and choose which museums you really want to see. New York has hundreds of museums to chose from, even aside from the bigger name ones like The Museum of Natural History, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, MoMA, and the Guggenheim. If you have a limited amount of time you might want to choose just one or two or you could find yourself spending your entire trip inside museums. The Met and the Museum of Natural History can each easily consume five or six hours of your day on their own if you truly want to appreciate them and get your money’s worth. Considering the sheer amount of places you can go in New York and everything there is to do, make sure you are setting a realistic amount of time for museums.

8. Don’t get your hopes up about everything you go to do and see. New York is built up as a giant romantic metropolis teaming with interesting things to be discovered. There’s supposed to be excitement around every corner. Reality strikes quick though, and you need to be prepared for that. Not everything is going to meet your expectations. You will stand in line for at least at hour at the Empire State building only to realize the deck is so full you can hardly see over the ledge. The World Trade Centre site will look more like a construction zone than a memorial site. You probably won’t understand most of the art in the Guggenheim. Don’t let the occasional disappointment turn you off of enjoying the rest of the city, these things are to be expected. New York has some big hype surrounding it and not every aspect is going to live up to your expectations.

9. It might be tempting to stick with what you know and grab Starbucks and McDonald’s but eat at the local places. I’ll admit I was pretty sick on my last night in the city and chicken nuggets seem to contain some sort of Pepto Bismal medicinal properties, at least as far as my stomach is concerned, so I opted for for the Golden Arches. Aside from being sick, it was my least favourite meal during my stay. Between warm pretzels, fresh garlic bread from pizzerias and fresh fruit from a local market, your common fast food joint just isn’t going to cut it. Make sure aside from eating you stay hydrated too!

I think by now my list has every continent, and possibly even every country, on it. Of course, like with all things, I have a few favoured destinations, ones that distract me from everything.

Snow = like Iceland. Boring roofs = not like Iceland

1. Iceland
Most people like warm destinations, but being Canadian, I prefer familiar temperatures and not having to buy new clothes to travel. I also like colourful roofs, which Iceland has an abundance of. Oh, and there’s a penis museum.

2. Morocco
Whenever I dream I’m travelling, I dream I’m in Morocco. There was this one time I dreamed I was in Italy but people were trying to kill me and I stabbed someone in the neck, very vividly, so you can see why I opt more for Morocco. One time someone asked me if it was the beaches that drew me towards it, and I replied “Morocco has beaches?”. There’s something about the food, the giant deserts and the culture that I like, all of which I, of course, learned about from Brad Pitt in Babel.

3. Russia
Adam says if I go to Russia I will get stabbed and die. Why does he think I want to go? Can you imagine that twitter message? EPIC! “Landed in Moscow, went through customs, agent stabbed me in the eye”. Really, I just want to go to Russia for two reasons:
a. My Russian history teacher had a mesmerizing moustache and was totally hot.
b. That same teacher told me about a guy who dresses up like Lenin and runs around in St. Petersburg

4. Los Angeles
I’m going to find the Zachary Quinto and follow him around until he files a restraining order. Hopefully he’ll spend some time at tourist hot spots so I can see those too.

5. Cuba
I just want to be a Communist and lay on the beach without abandon.

6. Afghanistan
While I hate to see myself as being too good for a war zone, I can also see how deciding to travel freely to one as people try to escape it is a bit…well wrong. I met a guy from Afghanistan when I was in high school and he was one of the nicest people in the world and looked really good with a popped collar. He told me once about how he had shot a gun and my tiny white 17 year old Canadian brain exploded. I really want to go there, but I think I might wait for it to settle down a bit there, which I hope it does eventually.

7. Yemen
I was once told Yememi men do it better, and I now want
a. a shirt that says that
b. to wear that shirt in Yemen
Plus it might be the closest I ever get to being in Saudi Arabia.

8. Peru
I think a lot about the fact they eat guinea pigs. It fascinates me. I want to see the farms they keep them in. And try eating one, maybe. They also have alpacas which are indisputably the most awesome animal ever to exist in the entire Universe. They do not eat the alpacas from what I understand, except in rare cases, which makes Peru super cool in my books.

mmm Asian stuff.

9. Japan
Adam really got me into Japan. I used to have no interest in going at all, but after Adam kept blabbing on about wanting to go there, he totally changed my mind. And I love Asian stuff, like the food and wonderful English translations on packages.

10. New Zealand
I have a secret passion to be a sheep herder. And they have the steepest hill in the world and I want to roll down it in a garbage can.

I’m sitting here writing a paper that looks at the development of abortion rights in Latin America from a religious and colonial perspective. I don’t want to be writing this paper. I hate the fact I have to write this paper. I want to be in Latin America, not writing about it. Sitting on a beach, laying in a hammock, wandering the streets looking for something delicious to devour. Joining a group fighting for reproductive justice. Not writing about it so one guy can read it, grade it, and forget about it. After about every three sentences I write for my paper, I pop open Firefox and immerse myself in a travel blog, search a cheap fares website, or just look at pictures of exotic and beautiful places. I come back from day dreaming and hammer out the rest of a paragraph. I’m backpedaling, misfiring, completely lost in my own life.

If life is a highway, I’ve been stuck at a filthy truck stop for the last 5 years of my life.

So I’ve made up my mind: life is bland whether you are working or not. I do very much enjoy not working. I have all this time to cook and sit around and start book clubs called “Liberal Rejectionist Revisionary Visionary Literary Socialites” (AKA The Finer Things Club for all you Office fans). Our first book, thanks to Sarah, is The Little Prince.

I’m not sure how I found time to read this mostly illustrated 109 page childrens’ book into my time, especially since I have been completely wrapped up in RuPaul’s Drag Race. God I love Drag Queens. I wish I could BE a Drag Queen, and according to my gay bestie, there’s nothing stopping me. Then again, he wishes he was a woman, so it’s only fitting he encourage his lady friends to try and impersonate men (who impersonate women). I have been trying to find a drag show to attend, since seeing a real live fully fabulous and over the top drag show is #489 on my list.

My inspiration

Otherwise, life is bland. I’ve been working on papers and getting through the last 3 or 4 weeks of this semester. I then get a full two weeks to mentally reset and prepare myself for the long haul of spring and summer courses. Other than my short trip to Red Deer to see Hey Ocean do a show, I have no travel plans until June. Even then, it’s just Kelowna. I shouldn’t disparage Kelowna so much, I’m rather excited! At least there is water there.