Because Eventually I Have To Die, Maybe
Uncategorized
Book Reviews for the Contemporary Man
Mar 5th
5 days late, but I’m still doing it! February’s book reviews, in accordance with My 2008 New Years Resolutions. This month I am dubbing “Old Favourites” though I also could have called it “Books about larger than life men who roam around doing whatever they see fit”. I took in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind, and Candide by Voltaire, translated by David Wootton. These are all books I have read multiple times before and are right up on my favourite books of all time list. Needless to say it was an enjoyable month and there will be nothing less than three 5/5 reviews.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is an amazing book, but most people know it by the film version starring Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro. The film is stunning and amazing, and for a Hollywood fil

Next up is Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind. This is probably my favourite book ever. Even in its translation from German into English, the poetic genius of the writing is not lost. Its simply beau
tiful to read. Being a history major, the historical detailing of the book is incredible, and at times you almost feel the stinking drudgery of life in 18th century Paris. Set among the rues and rats, the story is based around a man named Grenouille (French for “frog”) whom we follow from birth until death. While wholly a common man living amongst the millions of Paris, Grenouille does have one intricacy and that is his ability to smell. His “heightened olfactory” abilities lead us through this tale. At some point in his life he discovers two things: the most perfect scent in the world and the art of perfuming. I will not give away much more but the title “story of a murderer” should hint to some other aspect of this book. While every page of this book is a delight for me to read, I have to say the best part is when our main character ends up living in a cave in the side of a mountain for years, eating frozen bats. This is another book I highly recommend to everyone and anyone I discuss literature with.

The last book I read was Voltaire‘s Candide, as translated by David Wootton. This is a book that I would adore to read in its native French, as I am sure a lot of the little things are lost in translation. This is not to take away from David Wootton who does a superb job at translating, ensuring in all his footnotes to address language barriers, history, and Voltaire’s personal life (which adds more to the story than one might think). The first thing I shall say about this story is that it is completely and utterly absurd. It is literally one misadventure after another. I can almost say it is an 18th century version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, with men roaming around the world in search of happiness and that dream of a better life. Candide is the main character, and is quite naive until the very end of the book. Under the guidance of a philosopher named Pangloss, he gets himself into one problem after anoth
er remaining ever optimistic that life is exactly as it should be. The elements of fate play well into each other in this book, with characters separating and coming back together with the greatest of ease. It is well to say the main point of this story is fatalism and optimism, but I have to say it is a rather depressing book about how shitty life is no matter what we do. Through the course of events involving rapes, loss of buttocks, running the gauntlet and an “auto-de-fe” in South America, Candide does grow to lose is optimism ever so slowly. In the end, it turns out the meaning of life is to just work your land (or farm?). While it is quite scholarly in a sense, and moves at an insane pace, it is brilliant and makes you laugh at the horrible state of the world. It also causes some reflection on how the world really hasn’t changed much since the time that Voltaire roamed around Europe being all bisexual and investing money in the red sheep of the Andes. Good read if you want something short but action packed. It’s like a Jason Statham movie!

January Book Reviews
Feb 3rd
So here are my book reviews, in accordance with my Resolutions. This month’s theme was “Books I Could Have Watched”. I will review them in the order that I read them.

The first is Stephen Colbert‘s I am America (And So Can You!). Now, I am biased because I absolutely adore the Colbert Report. This book was funny and witty, but you know, not as good as the show. Not by a long shot. In that sense I was sort of disappointed by this book. It sort of went downhill by the end, the laughs got fewer. The beginning of the book is fabulous though, I was laughing out loud, I couldn’t read it in public. If you like the Colbert Report, you will like the book, I am sure. I have given it 4/5 stars, though it probably is more around a 3.5/5 for me. It just sort of let me down and got a bit waring after a while.

Second, Morgan Spurlock‘s “Don’t Eat This Book”. I will again admit to my bias. I loved loved loved Supersize Me. This book greatly expanded on the movie, addressing criticism and adding on to ideas expressed in the movie. Spurlock is a great writer and adds humour when it is most needed in this book. I recently read Fast Food Nation, and while these books were similar, I think Spurlock made his point more accessible to the general public and your run of the mill soccer parents (not to detract from Fast Food Nation, that book scared the shit out of me). This book has made me wary of fast food, and I suppose food in general. One commenter asked if I had already read Don’t Eat This Book when I posted I was starting #292 to go 100 days without fast food. I hadn’t finished reading the book yet when I started that, but the beginning of it combined with my recently completion of Fast Food Nation pushed me over the edge to do this.

It changed a few other things for me as well. I doubt anyone is keeping hard and fast track but you may have noticed that I removed go to the Olympics from my list. Well, this book has influenced me, as I’ve discussed already. After readying this following excerpt I decided against giving any of my hard-earned money to the Olympics through Visa.
“By the way, you want to know what sort of control the big food sponsors have over what gets consumed at the Olympics? Total, that’s what. Complete food fascism. At the Athens Games, according to the London Times, spectators-not the athletes, but the paying spectators-were told that ‘they could be barred for taking a surreptitious sip of Pepsi or an illicit bite from a Burger King Whopper. Strict regulations published by Athens 2004 dictate that spectators may be refused admission to events if they are carrying food or drinks made by companies that did not see fit to sponsor the games.
Since Coke was the official soft drink, Pepsi was of course confiscated at the gate. But you couldn’t even walk in carrying any brand of bottled water except for a Greek one called Avra, a subsidiary of Coca-Cola. Even T-shirts with a competitor’s logo on them could get you into trouble, and if they thought you might be on TV when the cameras panned the stands, they’d tell you to wear it inside-out. If you were on staff of a volunteer at the Games, the only sneakers you could wear were Adidas. ‘It is not even possible to buy a ticket to the Olympics using a card other than Visa,’ the Times reported.
How insane is that? I thought the Olympics were supposed to be all about international brotherhood and fair and open competition. Guess not.”
So Don’t Eat this Book was a phenomenal read, I really enjoyed the content and Spurlock’s writing style. I give it 5/5 because I found nothing lacking.

Last but certainly not least, was the V for Vendetta graphic novel. I guess I could have called this biased month, because I have seen this movie several times and am in love with it. As in I would marry that movie, if it were legal to do so.
I had never read a graphic novel before, and doubt I would have ever given it a shot if Adam hadn’t gotten
it for me for Christmas. It was a little tough in the beginning, since I was really unfamiliar with the writing type. Sometimes the dialogue was hard to follow and I’m still iffy on who some of the characters were. It took me a while to get through because I had to keep re-reading pages. Other than that, it was phenomenal. The story differed quite a bit from the movie (expectedly so), but it was just as captivating and brilliant. I will definitely be reading it again, and trying out more graphic novels! I give this book 4/5 because I found it quite hard to understand at points, but I’m sure this is due do my unfamiliarity with the style.
![]()

Reflection Friday – We Are The Champions (and you suck)
Feb 1st
So, here is another installment of my ego taking over and trying to convince myself my life hasn’t been that lame!
This one is a pretty big throw back, all the way to when I was 17 or 18, in grade 12. My friend Chris lured me into doing duet acting for Speech and Debate. Yeah, I was in the Speech and Debate club, go me, bitches. It was pretty weird, but at the same time awesome. The basic set up is a bunch of teams made up of two people from high schools around the city compete doing scenes from plays and such. The skits or pieces are about 10 minutes long, there’s judges, etc. The first piece we performed was something about Joan of Arc. Chris had done solo acting before, but I was a newbie, and I was so nervous. The group before us forgot their lines COMPLETELY and the scared the crap out of me. We did good though, that day. No lines forgotten out of our three performances. We met our rivals two. These two girls from some rich school, one girls name was Keeva, but it was spelled like “Qyrswwa” or something. The other girl was Katie or something? Anyways, we TIED with them for first place. Pretty cool.

We did three more competitions. Our second one was about some woman talking to her dead son. My favourite was the third which was about some eccentric old woman having a melt down with her assistant. The fourth one was where I played a prostitute and Chris my little sister who I was trying to coax away with me. Some how in all of the plays from 2-5 we managed to incorporate me slapping Chris in the face. Wicked.
So, I suppose I should mention we won every competition we entered. We ended up being the provincial champions of duet acting. We beat Qryswwa and Katie at every meeting. They asked us if we had an acting coach, we said no. They asked us if we used these weird forms of acting, we asked what they were. Little ghetto children beating the rich girls, it sounds like an Amanda Bynes movie. On a side note, I would cast Amanda Bynes to play me in the story of my life.
There’s my reflection for the week. I won a bunch of medals for playing old women and prostitutes. I also completed my moral tale of showing rich girls who don’t know how to spell their names not to look down on poor children from the ghetto. Seriously, we know what it’s like to be shot, and you can’t fake that shit, bitches.
Such troubles
Oct 26th
I am having trouble deciding what to do next. Me and choice do not get along. I suppose I will let the partner pick one for me, hopefully one we can do together!
Maybe he’ll take me somewhere on a vacation :O
What it’s all about, right?
Oct 25th
My life is boring and I’ve been raised in a way that makes me play on the safe side and I hate it. Sooo, I am writing a list of 1002 things (or more I guess) that I want to do before I die. Some are simple, some are weird and some are out-and-out going to kill me (I’ll do those ones last).
I’ve only crossed one out so far, but it was fun! Self defenses classes are pretty neat. Go to “list” to see the current giant page of things I will attempt to do in the next (hopefully) 60 years.
