This all began when our mutual friend Mikaela said Ian was coming over to work on a project. Kris and I pressed her for details. She refused, stating:

“You’ll make fun of us.”

She was right. After a hearty dose of laughter over the fact that she and Ian participated in NaNoWriMo annually, Kris and I mocked their nerd-dom for several minutes, loudly. At some point, Kris remarked that there was now a NaBloWriMo. I thought “that would be the perfect opportunity to get back on this blogging horse” and Kris thought “I’m a manwhore with a weird writer fetish.”

So we decided to embark on this beautiful writing/blow job journey together. I look forward to a month of fitting in a daily dose of terrible writing that no one reads but my mom. And that’s just because I make her proof read my work.

Coming up:

Nov 2: Tattoo
Nov 6-9: Issues of Substance Conference in Vancouver, BC
Nov 12: Homovember (the terrible holiday I concocted and plan to make my friends celebrate with me, as per item 204 on my list)

Then it’s 2012 the year we all die or whatever.

Okay, this is completely untrue. I am less classy than Ke$ha. At least she has nice clothes and a proper glitter budget. Suffice to say that if I had been the one marrying Prince William, I would have been removed from my own wedding. The fact is, I’m listening to “I Want Your Sex” by George Michael while at work. I’m also wearing a white bra and a black shirt. Yeah. One classy bitch.

So, seeing as how classy I truly am, it made complete sense to add “Have fondue” to my life list. I had the good fortune on Sunday to avoid being apocalypsed or turned into a Jesus Michael Jackson-esque zombie or whatever was supposed to happen, which allowed me to partake in dinner with my friend Scott (the following is my artist’s representation of Scott, since he doesn’t seem to have a website to link to…I’m confused).

Now, if you have met me, you know I tend to do brunch at Laurier Lounge, which has the best fucking brunch in the city of Calgary. I had never been there for dinner though, so we decided to go there. As I gazed over the menu all I could think was: “well, there goes my shoe budget for the year” (because I am classy and have a shoe budget). This is when my favourite and oh-so adorable waitress Genevieve suggested we partake in the (I wish I could write in rainbow glittering lettering for this) FONDUE EXPERIENCE. Three courses of fondue. FEATURING A BEEF FLOWER (again, rainbow lettering.)

Uhm, yeah. Right now. Thanks.

Do I have to mention dessert was fresh fruit with Bernard Callebaut chocolate?

Off my list. Possibly the classiest of all the additions.

421. Have fondue

This was at around 9:45 in the morning. Phil, the aformentioned man (who is definitely probably not a pedophile), insisted breakfast come first because apparently filling me with protein and coffee would calm me down. He made me eggs. Cooked in bacon grease. It was awesome. Then he let me drink a 500mL chocolate milk and I spent the next hour whining about how my tummy hurt. It was not awesome.

Then it was time to go play outside! Now, I should mention that Phil is 25 and has his shit together. Like, ridiculously so. Like owns a house and wears matching socks to work together. Has a whisk specifically for making scrambled eggs. Yeah. Just for eggs. So you’d think given his togetherness at life and my desperation to go out and form snow into some kind of lumpy fat person with a weird carrot nose that we’d be able to get out of the house at play in the snow rather quickly. No. It took about two hours, from my falling over in an attempt to change leggings and Phil looking for his “awesome snow pants” which were never found (hint: I burned them because dating guys who own snowpants is social suicide [unless they are megarich Swedish ski instructors]).

Given enough time, two people can accomplish anything, so with 120 minutes under our belt (that’s right, I can add, suck on that), Phil and I were dressed to impress (or to stand outside in the snow for 20 minutes before I invariably decided I was bored). We trodded outside and proceeded to test the snow. Short answer: not packing snow. No snow man. Being the adults that we are, we did not decide to throw ice balls at the giant icicles on this roof until they cracked off and once that was over we certainly did not end up just throwing loose snow at each other for four straight minutes until Phil’s parents called from Phoenix.

Though, Phil, being the giant man-child that he is, did proceed to give me a “snow bath” after returning from his phone call which then caused me to frantically shove snow down the back of his shirt while my butt got all wet because I was still sitting in the snowbank he had pushed me into. I’m not sure if Phil was just cold and miserable or if he realized I probably would sit in the snow bank digging a snow cave until I froze to death, but he decided to call of the Snow Man Attempt of 2010. We spent the rest of the afternoon with him attempting to teach me how to play poker “like a shark” and me insisting I could go to the casino, blink a lot and act lost and someone would just give me money.

And thus, I still have yet to cross “Make a Snowman” off of my list.

Lame.

615. Do a body shot

Regardless, I guess I’m proud of myself. I think I was just more excisted for retarded photo-ops.


#350. Graduate with a BA

Now to spend the rest of the day packing for the annual weeklong trip to Kingston, ON.

That being said, I’ve just wrapped up a 5 week French program in Montreal, Quebec. I’m currently sitting in the airport waiting for my 8:30pm flight. It was a good trip but I can’t get over how absolutely burned out I am. I was burned out almost in the first week. I’m not cut out for the party life, and living in a University residence was party not stop. Going home is going to be a wonderful experience.

For the rest of the summer, it seems I’ll be going around Canada with some more abandon, hitting up Vancouver and Kingston. Looking into school programs and my future as well. Looking forward to blogging once again. <3

While wandering around downtown today with my gay-sian friend (yes, you CAN contract gay and Asian into one word!) and he says
“have you peed in that toilet yet”

And I say
“in what toilet?”

because Keith thinks that everyone can hear his thoughts.

Anyways, it turns out he was referring to the robot potty on 17th Ave SW, which is part of a “City of Calgary Sanitation” project. There is seriously no website about this thing or information. Useless city.

It’s basically this weird roundish box plopped on a street corner. It looks kind of like something they would protect a major electrical center in or something. I decided, as I needed to pee anyways, to make use of it! Plus, I thought it was on my list, even though it is totally not actually on it. The toilet itself is fantastic. It tells you how to use it in a robot voice and cleans itself. You press a BUTTON and a CLEAN TOILET SEAT APPEARS OUT OF THE WALL!!! It also plays calming music for you as you make your business. Rad and a great idea for public bathrooms. Clean and calming!

I’m sad it’s not on my list, but whatever. I peed in a robot today and that in itself is fantastic.

Being the giant lazy sloth that I am, I just stopped. Well, that’s a lie, I attempted, poorly, to take an independent class through Athabasca University, but that was a complete wash and a waste of money. Now, I have decided to finally get back on tackling #6 on my life list to become fluent in French. I have been fairly dedicated so far, listening to podcasts everyday, reviewing old French textbooks, listening to French news stories to get an ear for the spoken rhythm of the language. I’m hopeful. I also will be enrolling in J’explore a French learning program offered at various locations across Canada, care of the Canadian government. The program is 5 weeks long and I hope to be able to do it in either Montreal or New Brunswick. The goal is conversational French fluency, but of course they have varying levels of classes. My personal goal is to not end up in the beginner’s class!

So far, my absolute favourite tool has been Coffee Break French, produced by the Radio Lingua Network. Radio Lingua has several different French podcasts, including One Minute French and the video-based Walk, Talk and Learn French, but so far, Mark and Anna at Coffee Break French have been the absolute best at helping me get a new lease on the French language. I highly recommend you check them out if you are also trying to learn or relearn Francais, either at their website or on Itunes!

I need to move. Somewhere awesome. I wonder how rent prices are in Narnia. That place seems happening.

For fun, here is a picture:

Everett Park in Kingston.

I suppose I am heading to Kingston in around a month, but I have been to Kingston several times. Hell, I lived there for almost ten years. I am desparately trying to convince my mom to go somewhere (anywhere!!) with me over a weekend or after our trip to Kingston but she is very reluctant (much to my dismay). I know I only have 60 or summers left on this planet and it depresses me to some extent this one has been somewhat wasted so far. 6 weeks left before September brings around a new semester of school, I better make the most of it. Roadtrip anyone?