I’ve decided to take a slightly new direction with this blog, wherein the focus is still my life list, but I’m more apt to just write about my day to day life and other interesting things. After taking a rather long hiatus from writing, I’ve realized I need to expand my focus in order to write both more and with more meaning.

That being said, I’ve just wrapped up a 5 week French program in Montreal, Quebec. I’m currently sitting in the airport waiting for my 8:30pm flight. It was a good trip but I can’t get over how absolutely burned out I am. I was burned out almost in the first week. I’m not cut out for the party life, and living in a University residence was party not stop. Going home is going to be a wonderful experience.

For the rest of the summer, it seems I’ll be going around Canada with some more abandon, hitting up Vancouver and Kingston. Looking into school programs and my future as well. Looking forward to blogging once again. <3

…but it isn’t.

While wandering around downtown today with my gay-sian friend (yes, you CAN contract gay and Asian into one word!) and he says
“have you peed in that toilet yet”

And I say
“in what toilet?”

because Keith thinks that everyone can hear his thoughts.

Anyways, it turns out he was referring to the robot potty on 17th Ave SW, which is part of a “City of Calgary Sanitation” project. There is seriously no website about this thing or information. Useless city.

It’s basically this weird roundish box plopped on a street corner. It looks kind of like something they would protect a major electrical center in or something. I decided, as I needed to pee anyways, to make use of it! Plus, I thought it was on my list, even though it is totally not actually on it. The toilet itself is fantastic. It tells you how to use it in a robot voice and cleans itself. You press a BUTTON and a CLEAN TOILET SEAT APPEARS OUT OF THE WALL!!! It also plays calming music for you as you make your business. Rad and a great idea for public bathrooms. Clean and calming!

I’m sad it’s not on my list, but whatever. I peed in a robot today and that in itself is fantastic.

The title of this post is pretty much the only sentence I can say in French. It’s probably wrong, but I say it all the time just to prove that all my time in French classes was not for nothing. I took French until grade three, on and off between grades 4 and 9, and all through high school. I came out of high school with an alright understanding and the desire to take it further, but I hit a roadblock in my first year of university. Sitting in my first day of class, the professor spoke nothing but French and everyone in the class seemed to be already fluent. I dropped it after the first day because I literally had no idea what was going on or what the expectations would be (beyond already speaking French…).

Being the giant lazy sloth that I am, I just stopped. Well, that’s a lie, I attempted, poorly, to take an independent class through Athabasca University, but that was a complete wash and a waste of money. Now, I have decided to finally get back on tackling #6 on my life list to become fluent in French. I have been fairly dedicated so far, listening to podcasts everyday, reviewing old French textbooks, listening to French news stories to get an ear for the spoken rhythm of the language. I’m hopeful. I also will be enrolling in J’explore a French learning program offered at various locations across Canada, care of the Canadian government. The program is 5 weeks long and I hope to be able to do it in either Montreal or New Brunswick. The goal is conversational French fluency, but of course they have varying levels of classes. My personal goal is to not end up in the beginner’s class!

So far, my absolute favourite tool has been Coffee Break French, produced by the Radio Lingua Network. Radio Lingua has several different French podcasts, including One Minute French and the video-based Walk, Talk and Learn French, but so far, Mark and Anna at Coffee Break French have been the absolute best at helping me get a new lease on the French language. I highly recommend you check them out if you are also trying to learn or relearn Francais, either at their website or on Itunes!

I think the worst part about having a passion for travel is jealousy. I’ve padded my twitter, facebook, bloglines – every social networking site at my disposal – with jet-setting travellers who are taking on the world. Even those I add for other reasons seem to mock me with thei lavish travels to far away places. The other day I was sitting in class listening to my professor ramble on about cod fish (seriously…fucking cod fish) and I, of course, was wasting time on twitter. Eli Roth is updating about being in Italy. I’m learning about cod and all these people are experiencing the world! I’m full of envy, full of it.

Sometimes life does laugh at you. Not with you. Just at you.

In other news, I updated my list a bit. I saw Marilyn Manson live, which was just terrible, but I did it. It would be been better categorized under “Thanks, But No Thanks” in hindsight. I have to decide what to do next on my list.

1. I’m going to Kingston on Thursday.

2. I got tickets to Marilyn Manson (seeing him live is on my life list).

I’m trying to figure out something fun to do so I’ll have something interesting to blog about.

This summer feels like a complete wash. I did go to Kelowna, true, but it has mostly been spent with my nose in books and sitting in classrooms. I guess I’m putting this work in now so I can be done school earlier, but I just want to be travelling and seeing the world. One friend just finished a study in Ghana and is now touring Germany. Irma my artist friend just finished a one month stint in Montreal. Everyone is headed somewhere or just returning and I feel stagnant.

I suppose I am heading to Kingston in around a month, but I have been to Kingston several times. Hell, I lived there for almost ten years. I am desparately trying to convince my mom to go somewhere (anywhere!!) with me over a weekend or after our trip to Kingston but she is very reluctant (much to my dismay). I know I only have 60 or summers left on this planet and it depresses me to some extent this one has been somewhat wasted so far. 6 weeks left before September brings around a new semester of school, I better make the most of it. Roadtrip anyone?

After all this hubadoo (yes I made that word up) about Iceland, I might not be going. It turns out even in a recession Iceland is insanely expensive when compared to other countries. Who does Iceland think it is exactly? Flights might be cheap, but not really that much cheaper than most other countries. Then you get there and you basically have to give them your arm in order to pay for stuff. YOUR ARM.

Adam was, in my mind, pooing all over my dream of going to Iceland about a week ago and it made me sad. But then he said the magic words to win my heart: “Rio de Janeiro” and “cheaper”. We began to discuss other options and Adam said the third magic word to win my heart: “spreadsheets.” As of right now we are entertaining a bunch of options, including Aruba, Athens, Rome, Madrid, Barcelona, Mumbai, Tokyo, and Rio. All of these places are CHEAPER than Iceland. Fantastic!

It is rather nice not knowing where I will be going in August, just knowing that it will be somewhere foreign and fun.

So Adam and I have been slowly going over the details of our trip to Iceland, but not too much since
1. I don’t know when I can actually go
2. We don’t know if my friend-ette Irma is coming

Now, I am a fan of doing things that make little to no sense. It makes life more interesting. Hence, I desparately want to drive the ring road around Iceland despite it being one way bridges and dirt roads. True there is a bus that goes around it (thanks to one of my lovely commenters) but Adam is not one to take buses. We want to rent a car. Problem is, a car rental even for a few days gets up into the thousands of dollars range in Iceland. Seriously. Why? Iceland, according to Wikipedia, has one of the highest car ownership rates per capita in the entire world. You think some nice Icelandic person with 4 cars would just let us have one on good faith and maybe a nice bottle of maple syrup.

Planning this trip is slightly more difficult than I had originally thought, but I am just going to assume this will make it more fun in the end. Though, to be honest, I can’t stop thinking about that movie about the vampires in the Arctic. Iceland would make a way better vampire destination because it is a tiny isolated island. On the bright side, it would be safe from zombies in the even of a living dead outbreak (at least for a while – zombies can swim/float).

And this is what I think about while planning a trip.

I don’t wax philosophical much on this blog, but in real life I’m the love child of Socrates and Plato (the gayest of all the philosophers: fact). And I’ve had a giant mental shift. The other night, laying in my super pink room, worried deeply about my future, Adam told me something that blew my tiny Stegosaurus brain.

And I quote: “Just do what you want”

Of course, I said: “ANYTHING I WANT?” (in caps, I talk in caps).

He said: “yes”.

Naturally, I replied: “okay, well I want to be reborn as a fabulous gay-sian man who can get away with platform boots in any situation”.

Apparently, though, “just do what you want” only can operate within the laws of physics, which honestly is a bigger rip off than the fact I can’t get Google maps implanted in my brain yet.

Anyways, this is something I’ve struggled with for years, the ability to just do what I want, unfiltered from my incessant worrying about what people (read: my mom) are going to think. Adam on the other hand is prone to punching old ladies in the face if they get in his way, because, yeah, he just does what he wants. All the time, doing what he wants.

In reality this conversation has shifted my internal processing, especially when it comes to my very undetermined future as a functioning member of society. I suppose most of the things I want to do (read: giant squid) break this lame “laws of physics” rule. No one has ever told me to just do what I want before. I’ve been told to go to school, to stop being lazy and get a job, and to stop wearing tiaras in public, but never to “just do what I want”. It’s an entirely new concept to me, really, and I wonder why there isn’t a class entitled “Just Do What You Want: The Philosophy of Punching Old Ladies Who Get in Your Way in the Face”.

What is this going to mean for my travels, my future job prospects, my social life? Probably all bad things after I’ve assaulted a flight attendant for looking at me funny, written my resume using macaroni and glue and then decided only to attend functions with the words “super awesome” in the title.

So I’ve made up my mind: life is bland whether you are working or not. I do very much enjoy not working. I have all this time to cook and sit around and start book clubs called “Liberal Rejectionist Revisionary Visionary Literary Socialites” (AKA The Finer Things Club for all you Office fans). Our first book, thanks to Sarah, is The Little Prince.

I’m not sure how I found time to read this mostly illustrated 109 page childrens’ book into my time, especially since I have been completely wrapped up in RuPaul’s Drag Race. God I love Drag Queens. I wish I could BE a Drag Queen, and according to my gay bestie, there’s nothing stopping me. Then again, he wishes he was a woman, so it’s only fitting he encourage his lady friends to try and impersonate men (who impersonate women). I have been trying to find a drag show to attend, since seeing a real live fully fabulous and over the top drag show is #489 on my list.

My inspiration

Otherwise, life is bland. I’ve been working on papers and getting through the last 3 or 4 weeks of this semester. I then get a full two weeks to mentally reset and prepare myself for the long haul of spring and summer courses. Other than my short trip to Red Deer to see Hey Ocean do a show, I have no travel plans until June. Even then, it’s just Kelowna. I shouldn’t disparage Kelowna so much, I’m rather excited! At least there is water there.